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Stone Roses

"One Is The One"

The great Stone Roses/Prince Harry non-scandal

Culture

The Mail are reporting that Prince Harry featured 'This Is The One' on an Instagram video because the lyrics contain a coded message from him. If that were his intention, there'd be better Roses songs to choose...

The Mail have gone even more cock-a-hoop over Prince Harry, after he posted an Instagram video from today’s draw of teams for the 2021 Rugby World Cup – perhaps his final Instagram video in his current role – which featured The Stone Roses’ ‘This Is The One’ on the soundtrack.

So what’s the problem?

Well – and really, the Mail is having some kind of terrible breakdown – that particular Roses song has the line: ‘I’d like to leave the country for a month of Sundays.’

Right.

Seriously, they’re very angry about this saying, “Even though that line wasn’t heard in the clip its inconceivable his advisers didn’t know the song had that line.”

Really? I mean, firstly, it’s hardly one of the band’s most celebrated lines. Secondly, it’s not that harsh.No, the truth is that if the intention had been to stick two fingers up at the Royal Family there are far better Stone Roses tunes to choose.

And indeed, thinking about it, we strongly feel that the Mail have only scratched the surface and that Harry was not just sending a message to the Royal Family with ‘This Is The One’ but encouraging people to study the entire back catalogue of The Stone Roses for more messages about how he feels:

1. I Am The Resurrection

The last song on the self-titled debut album with the proper improv big boy shit four minute outro, but, more to the point, the following line:

‘Don’t waste your words I don’t need anything from you/I don’t care where you’ve been or what you plan to do.’

Clearly an insult directed towards Harry’s brother, the Duke Of Cambridge. Like, “I so don’t need you anymore big bro, whatevs – hush your pretty little mouth.”

2. Love Spreads

In which Ian Brown rewrites the Passion of Christ but with a black woman up on the cross! I mean, come on, this was clearly written by the famously mystical Brown back in 1994 in obvious anticipation of Megxit.

Cold black skin/Naked in the rain/Hammer flash in the lightning/They’re hurting her again

Let me put you in the picture/ Let me show you what I mean/ The messiah is my sister/Ain’t no king, man, she’s my queen. 

We rest our case.

3. Elizabeth, My Dear

The band’s famed anti-monarchy ditty from the debut album, a little medieval moment complete with the sound of an arrow firing. Right into Elizabeth II’s heart. Fantasising about his own grandmother’s assassination?! What the fuck’s up with this kid?

4. Fools Gold

In this clear and flagrant attack on his own family using The Stone Roses as a weapon, Prince Harry was clearly leading us towards this key single which serves as a defiant snub to the haters but also ridicules the very foundation of the monarchy:

I’m standing alone/I’m watching you all/I’m seeing you sinking/I’m standing alone/You’re weighing the gold/I’m watching you sinking/Fool’s gold.

Oh like, he’s all superior now that he’s walking away from the riches of the Windsors to earn his own money, while they ‘weigh the gold’ like ‘Fools’. Piers Morgan was right – get off your high horse Harry, jeez louise.

5. I Wanna Be Adored

I don’t have to sell my soul/He’s already in me.

He admits it!

Sigh.

Whatever next? ‘Prince Harry blinks out the beat to God Save the Queen by Sex Pistols?’

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