Mobile nav search icon Mobile nav toggle icon Mobile nav close icon

How to sleep in a heatwave

Masculinity

Because heatwaves are here to stay and we need to rethink our sleeping game to cope.

How do you sleep in a heatwave? The short answer is ‘badly’, but on the advice front, here’s a few tips:

1. Sleep in light pyjamas not naked. Pyjamas will actually help you feel cooler by drawing sweat away from your body. Obviously not chunky old man’s pyjamas.

2. Sleep on your side, as it exposes a larger portion of your body to the air.

3. Don’t touch anyone else in the bed. Sexy time is out, it’d be like striking a match on a matchbox – painful.

4. Put a flannel in the fridge, then put it on your forehead in bed.

5. Actually put your sheets, and pillowcase in the fridge too. Lovely and cool when you take them out and put them back on the bed. For a few minutes at least.

6. Use a hot water bottle. But wait! Fill it with ice cold water and crushed ice and then spoon the sucker. Oh yeah. Is that a bit necrophiliac? Moving swiftly on…

7.  Run your feet and wrists under cold water before going to bed. Do not have a cold shower though, as this will actually raise your body temperature afterwards. Keep the water tepid.

8. Move rooms. Don’t just stick with your usual bedroom, decamp to the coolest place. Sneakily in the middle of the night, if you want it all to yourself.

9. Use a room fan. Or do shifts with your partner to waft a giant palm leaf over the other.

10. Keep ice water next to your bed. Pour it on your groin if need be.

11. Use gel pad inserts. Stick them in the fridges then into your pillow. A cross between an ice cube tray and a breast implant.

12. Turn off all electric devices. They’ll release energy into the air. Apart from the fan obviously. And any chilled dildae (bet there is such a thing).

13. Build an igloo. Haven’t really thought this one through but basically get 15 Mr Frosty machines, crank them to the max, shovel the resultant raspberry flavoured ice snow into your bedroom, build igloo, climb inside, sleep. Job done. Wait, igloos keep the warmth inside don’t they? FFS.

Anyway, good luck. Listen to some summer tunes to pass the night hours if you prefer.

andrew tate's views

Read next

Andrew Tate’s views on being a man...

Masculinity 4 days ago

Read next

Toxic! Hegemonic! Hybrid! Know your masc...

Masculinity 2 weeks ago

Related articles


Masculinity

New MasculinityTime For A New Masculinity

Martin Robinson

1 day ago

Masculinity

andrew tate's viewsAndrew Tate’s views on being a man – h...

The Book Of Man

4 days ago

Masculinity

Toxic! Hegemonic! Hybrid! Know your masculinity de...

The Book Of Man

2 weeks ago

Masculinity

Paul Mescal – Man of the Week

The Book Of Man

4 weeks ago

Masculinity

Why men’s groups work

Martin Robinson

1 month ago

Masculinity

Men of the Year 2022

Martin Robinson

3 months ago

Masculinity

Boys are in favour of gender fluidity…but ar...

The Book Of Man

4 months ago

Masculinity

Soma Sara – an interview with the founder of...

Martin Robinson

4 months ago

Masculinity

Toby Gutteridge: ‘Never Will I Die’

Martin Robinson

5 months ago

Masculinity

From a rainy London day…to the floods of Pak...

The Book Of Man

5 months ago