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Uber Signals

At The End of The Night Should You Get Her An Uber?

Relationships

Is getting her an Uber home the polite thing to do at the end of a date? As opposed to leaving her to public transport or trying to get her back to yours? Niloufar Shafi asks the crowd.

To me this is the ultimate in chivalry. Yes, I am a modern woman who knows how to find my way back home. But to know he cared enough to worry about how I get home gets high marks in my book. Yet it has its drawbacks. Women are understandably uncomfortable sharing their address if he calls an Uber, especially on a first date. He can hail her a cab, but those on average are more expensive than an Uber that she can call from her own account. Feel it out before whipping out your phone, but just the gesture can go a long way.

We asked: Is getting her an uber home the right thing to do? 

As a woman, I could receive that as an invitation to go away. I wouldn’t feel comfortable. How I arrive and how I leave is my responsibility. I don’t feel it’s part of the date”. Betty, 39

It depends on the context and how far away she lives”. Will, 36

I would do it for my girlfriend, but not for the person I’m just dating. Because I’m not paying for something we do together. I’m paying for you to go home”. Sandro, 26

That’s very gentlemanly and respectful, so yes. But if he didn’t, he should at least be concerned with how are you going to get home. When it comes to sharing my address, often I just give the neighbourhood. Women are now so accessible because of dating apps. It’s changed the whole landscape so dramatically that guys don’t even know where they stand half the time. ‘Is this a date where I’m supposed to shag her tonight or is this a real relationship type date?’ It’s confusing for everyone. So I’d rather be cautious”. Tanya, 30

You can do and someone offers it and someone takes it up, that’s a mutual, nice thing to do. But there should be no obligation, no. Unless he’s chosen a really obscure part of town to go and he would say, ‘Look, I would really prefer if I could call you an Uber’. And then it’s OK. Also one of the things I like after I’ve met somebody is a full stop at the end. That’s where the expectation finishes for me. I don’t need them to call a car for me. I don’t need them to walk me anywhere. It’s nice that you paid for my drink, I don’t need anything else for now. It’s nice for someone to offer, but I wouldn’t take it up”. Hardeep, 28

Where are we calling an Uber from? My place? I get her the Uber. I think it’s a really nice gesture. From outside the bar or restaurant? I gotta get my ass back home. Can’t do both”. Simon, 31

Read all 11 new rules for dating

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