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Flat pack assembly

You flat-pack son of a...

How to build flat pack furniture (not destroy it in a rage)

DIY

Caveman had sabre-toothed tigers. Anglo-saxons had Vikings. Hippies had squares. And us? Well, our nemesis is flat-pack furniture. He's how to whup it's pretty little ass with an Allen key...

Mike Edwards, better known as the DIY Doctor, reveals how to take on flat pack furniture assembly *read IKEA furniture* without mugging yourself off. Follow his simple tips and prepare to wage psychological war on a POÄNG chair…

1. Don’t get cocky
“Don’t start putting stuff together by opening the instructions and starting at ‘Figure 1’. First, make sure that you have all the bits.” This will preserve what’s left of your sanity. Assuming you didn’t leave that in the Småland (crèche).

2. Believe, achieve, succeed
“Roughly assemble the sides and panels on the carpet so that you get a clear picture in your mind of what it’s supposed to look like. Pull up a photo on your phone, too. It’s like a jigsaw puzzle: you need the picture on the box.”

3. Don’t go nuts with a drill
“The most common mistake is tightening the fittings until they snap. So unless you’re an experienced DIY-er, don’t use an electric screwdriver. Lightly tighten the fittings until the panels touch.”

4. Don’t panic
“If you’ve got a draw sticking out the back, you know you’ve f**ked up. But don’t panic. Since you didn’t tighten the screws to buggery, it should be easy to rectify the mistake.”

We’ve got DIY advice coming out of our ears. Including how to change a lightbulb (well everyone had to learn from someone).

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