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Taboo questions

Ask Anything! Taboo questions answered

Relationships

Taboo questions are answered by psychotherapist Anna Jackson as she advises readers on how to open up for better relationships...

Hi Anna, my partner is going through depression, is on anti-depressants and I’m trying to help him through it. He won’t really talk about what he’s going through, which is a worrying barrier, so how can I get him to open up to me?

Ah I’m sorry to hear this. The good news is it seems like he’s doing what he can to come through the depression.

People have all sorts of different ways of dealing with things, and distance and being inwardly focused through hard times is certainly a coping strategy. The thing is it can be incredibly difficult and isolating for those close to that person and it can feel like a form of rejection.

I wonder is this his usual way of dealing with difficult things and he’s reverting back to what he knows rather than what’s best.

I think it’s important to reaffirm to him that you are there for him. And that you love him of course. It’s probably worth suggesting therapy individual or group therapy.

It’s worth noting what he enjoys and encouraging him to do more of this. Maybe enlist some of his friends but be mindful not to overwhelm him.

Try not to personalise this at all. This isn’t anything about you and you haven’t done anything wrong.

Depression affects so many of us at some point in our lives. The good news is that it isn’t permanent and because it is so common there are many solutions at hand. In fact often it’s a case of throwing a few things at the wall and seeing what sticks for you. A combination of short term medication and therapy is often the best approach. Again there is a large variety of medication and therapy to suit each person.

Hi Anna – I’d think I may be bisexual, but don’t know how to tell my girlfriend this. I’d like to suggest a threesome but worry she might just dump me! What should I do?

This is a tricky one. If you ask a question you have to be prepared for the answer, whatever it may be. Ultimately if you don’t want what you may perceive to be a bad answer then don’t ask the question.

If your bond with her is tight it would be quite an extreme response it seems from her to dump you. I’m wondering if you are catastrophising a bit there.

You have to weigh it up. Is this something you really want to explore? If so I’d recommend taking the risk and asking her, I would preference if by saying I absolutely don’t want you to feel any pressure to do this but how would you feel about a threesome? Focus on it being a pair bonding experience and not about anything else.

This article is part of our 30 Days of Taboo Special, in association with Cialis Together. #peekataboo

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Anna Jackson

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