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lockdown words

No. Just, no.

101 Lockdown Words And Phrases We Never Want To Hear Again


Seriously, just one more utterance of one of these and we're going to bed to sulk until September.

  1. In these unprecedented times.


  1. Boris.


  1. Boris Johnson.


  1. Boris Johnson is doing press-ups.


  1. Daily Briefing.


  1. Home Learning.


  1. What can we do now?


  1. Matt Hancock.


  1. Hand Sanitizer.


  1. Anti-Bacterial.


  1. Hand Wipes.


  1. Have you washed the shopping?


  1. Wash your hands again.


  1. Leave your clothes outside.


  1. How long is two metres?


  1. Home office.


  1. Furlough.


  1. What are we going to do about the garden?


  1. Think of the people without a garden.


  1. Sending over a Zoom link now.


  1. You’ve frozen.


  1. Hello? Hello?


  1. House Party is open.


  1. Normal People is really good actually.


  1. Sourdough.


  1. Have you seen Tiger King?


  1. What books have you been reading?


  1. Are you working out at home?


  1. Where’s the mat?


  1. Where’s the remote?


  1. Where’s the cheese?


  1. Where are the kids?


  1. What have you done with that thing that was right here?


  1. Who’s been touching the laptop screen?


  1. Delete browsing history.


  1. My mental health has been fine.


  1. No one I know has died.


  1. It’s been a really creative time.


  1. I’m writing a novel. 


  1. I don’t have time for a call today.


  1. I’d like to volunteer but I think I fall into the high risk category.


  1. I’m young so I’ll be fine.


  1. Off the screens!


  1. Home delivery.


  1. Ocado


  1. You are in a queue. Your call is important to us. 


  1. How long was the queue?


  1. I’d kill for a Big Mac.


  1. I can’t be arsed to queue for a Big Mac.


  1. Online Event. 


  1. Social distancing. 


  1. Socially distanced gatherings.


  1. Socially distanced drinking.


  1. Socially distanced date.


  1. Social. 


  1. Distance. 


  1. Socially. 


  1. Distanced.


  1. What stinks?


  1. What stinks in here?


  1. Something stinks.


  1. You stink.


  1. Do you think I’ve lost weight?


  1. Are my biceps bigger?


  1. Can you do the Returns?


  1. Are you sure you want Grade One?


  1. Why did you shave off everywhere else? 


  1. I’ll definitely spend more time with the kids in the future.


  1. I’ll definitely work more from home.


  1. I’ll definitely keep exercising at home.


  1. Anti-protestor.


  1. Self Isolation.


  1. Test and trace.


  1. Herd immunity.


  1. The number of deaths today is…


  1. Covid-19


  1. Coronavirus.


  1. The virus. 


  1. Thread.


  1. Some personal news.


  1. What mixers have we got left?


  1. Shall we open the bad bottle?


  1. Fried or scrambled?


  1. Lloyd Grossman sauce.


  1. We’re out of tea.


  1. You use too many sheets of toilet roll.


  1. It is your friend anniversary.


  1. Facetime.


  1. Just leave it on the doorstep.


  1. Dominic Cummings.


  1. Michael Gove.


  1. Donald J Trump.


  1. At least we’re not in America.


  1. We’ve got to move out of this house.


  1. I need to see someone else, anyone else.


  1. Fish fingers again?


  1. Will life ever get back to normal?


  1. The New Normal.


  1. You’re not normal.


  1. Do we have to watch Commando again?


  1. Where’s the fucking remote?
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